Unexpected Lessons from Living in Europe

I can’t believe we’ve been in Europe for over three months already. Our travels took us through Rome, Florence, and Barcelona before settling in our new home of Porto, Portugal. I am by no means an expert in living abroad, but I do have some unexpected life lessons, and perhaps some things I had “knew” on paper before coming but experiencing them is different.

Time Off is a Necessity

I love that the shops close every afternoon for siesta and all day on Sundays. Don’t get me wrong, it’s an adjustment. Ask me about the time we almost ran out of formula on Sunday and Josh ran all over Florence to find a 24-hour pharmacy. Or when we manage to get the entire family out the door (an achievement) to hit up our favorite brunch place, only to find a shuttered restaurant. Yet, every time I’m annoyed at the inconvenience, I remember it’s the physical, daily reminder to actually rest. A constant message that our purpose here isn’t to constantly consume or produce. First lesson: sometimes we must prioritize the other activities that make us human.

Stop Trying to Fit In

When preparing for our trip, I did so much research on how to not be identified as the obnoxious American. No athletic shoes or baseball caps, check. Meatballs don’t go on the spaghetti. In Italy, no milk in your coffee after noon. You eat dinner after 8 PM or *gasp* you’ll be marked as a tourist. I’ve spent an unreal amount of time and energy to act the perfect way, to fit in. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely believe you should respect the country and the culture that you’re in. You should seek to learn from their traditions and way of life. After all, it’s the reason why we picked up and moved our family here. Then, a fellow expat Kacie Rose shared her story after two years of living in Italy. She was working so hard to not be the American in the room, and then realized she will always be the American in the room. Even after you learn the language, pick up on the culture nuances, know the city like the back of your hand, you’ll still be an immigrant in their country.

That realization is remarkably freeing. It’s a spin on the old adage to be yourself. You won’t be everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay. Authenticity is just as important as learning and growing. Maybe that’s the lesson.

It’s Still Real Life

Some context – I love grocery shopping. I’m one of those weirdos whose idea of a blissful day includes menu planning, writing up the shopping list (categorized in order of the store, of course), and efficiently weaving through the store. But shopping in a new country, in a foreign language? Mentally taxing and unbelievably time consuming. I expected a level of adapting unique ingredients (still mourning the absence of green chile) and navigating language barriers (bless Google Translate). Though, I had not expected that Spain doesn’t really use fresh herbs (unless you grow them yourself) or it’s super not common to find butter (from what I can tell, they use a lot of margarine) in smaller Portuguese grocery stores. It’s butter!

I also had these naive visions of shopping in the neighborhood market, befriending the butcher, practicing my language skills while miming at fruit and vegetables. I could spend a quiet morning strolling through the booths, dreaming of the perfect meal. You know what’s not this romantic European vision? Real life. Chasing a toddler through a market while trying to remember the Spanish word for strawberries. Then you realize (again), life in Europe, is real life, just with a language barrier.

These are just a few of my unexpected life lessons as we started living in Europe. What are you most memorable lessons from travel or living abroad?

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